Size Chart, White.jpg
Size Chart, White.jpg

Yes, you're the Commodore of Schmucks.

$29.99

🏰 Royal Decree of the Commodore of Schmucks 🏰

Hear ye, hear ye! Let it be proclaimed throughout the land and all adjacent couch cushions:

By order of His Most Comfortably Casual Majesty, the Commodore of Schmucks, arises the official garment of the realm—The Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee—a majestic blend of comfort, valor, and low-maintenance laundering. Woven from the fairest fibers of the American countryside, this noble raiment offers year-round breathability for gallant gatherings and slothful sofa-sitting alike.

Whether thou art parading through the kingdom’s market square or reclining with honor after a fortnight of toil, this classic fit tunic shall drape thee in distinguished indifference and timeless style. It is henceforth declared the perfect gift for festivals, name-days, awkward family reunions, and the annual celebration of one’s emergence from the womb.

Edicts of Craftsmanship:

  • The Gildan 5000 is made with medium fabric (5.3 oz/yd² / 180 g/m²) consisting of 100% cotton, offering year-round comfort with lasting durability.  
  • The classic fit of this shirt ensures a comfy, relaxed wear while the crew neckline adds that neat, timeless look that can blend into any occasion, casual or semi-formal.  
  • The tear-away label means a scratch-free experience with no irritation or discomfort whatsoever.  
  • Made using 100% US cotton that is ethically grown and harvested.
  • Gildan is also a proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol ensuring ethical and sustainable means of production.  
  • This blank tee is certified by OEKO-TEX® STANDARD 100 (Certificate No. 168252, OETI - Institut fuer Oekologie).

Now go forth, noble citizen, and don this majestic vestment with all the pomp and comfort due to one of your station. Long live the Commodore! 👑



EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY

Product information: Gildan 5000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC

Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Made in Nicaragua

Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean

Color:
Size:

🏰 Royal Decree of the Commodore of Schmucks 🏰

Hear ye, hear ye! Let it be proclaimed throughout the land and all adjacent couch cushions:

By order of His Most Comfortably Casual Majesty, the Commodore of Schmucks, arises the official garment of the realm—The Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee—a majestic blend of comfort, valor, and low-maintenance laundering. Woven from the fairest fibers of the American countryside, this noble raiment offers year-round breathability for gallant gatherings and slothful sofa-sitting alike.

Whether thou art parading through the kingdom’s market square or reclining with honor after a fortnight of toil, this classic fit tunic shall drape thee in distinguished indifference and timeless style. It is henceforth declared the perfect gift for festivals, name-days, awkward family reunions, and the annual celebration of one’s emergence from the womb.

Edicts of Craftsmanship:

  • The Gildan 5000 is made with medium fabric (5.3 oz/yd² / 180 g/m²) consisting of 100% cotton, offering year-round comfort with lasting durability.  
  • The classic fit of this shirt ensures a comfy, relaxed wear while the crew neckline adds that neat, timeless look that can blend into any occasion, casual or semi-formal.  
  • The tear-away label means a scratch-free experience with no irritation or discomfort whatsoever.  
  • Made using 100% US cotton that is ethically grown and harvested.
  • Gildan is also a proud member of the US Cotton Trust Protocol ensuring ethical and sustainable means of production.  
  • This blank tee is certified by OEKO-TEX® STANDARD 100 (Certificate No. 168252, OETI - Institut fuer Oekologie).

Now go forth, noble citizen, and don this majestic vestment with all the pomp and comfort due to one of your station. Long live the Commodore! 👑



EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY

Product information: Gildan 5000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC

Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Made in Nicaragua

Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean