Every item you order from For Schmucks is made just for you — by a third-party print overlord named Printify. We don't keep warehouses full of "Schmuck Rogers" mugs or "Schmucking Brilliant" tees waiting to be returned. Everything is printed on demand. So unless your item arrives looking like it was chewed up by a disgruntled raccoon or ManBearPig, we can't accept returns or exchanges. Sorry, not sorry.

We stand by our schmuckery. If your order shows up misprinted, damaged, defective, or like it survived a minor apocalypse en route — we'll absolutely replace it or refund you. Just don't ghost us.

Here's what we need from you within 28 days of delivery:

• Your order number (so we know you're not making this up)

• Photos of the issue (bonus points if they're slightly dramatic)

• A brief description of what went wrong (keep it sassy but clear)

Send it all to orders@forschmucks.net

If your issue checks out, we'll either send a replacement or refund you in full — back to your original form of payment. No store credit nonsense. Only regular priced items may be refunded. Sale items cannot be refunded. No restocking fees. No return shipping drama. Just honesty, schmuck to schmuck.

That's called buyer's remorse, and it's not covered here. Every piece is custom printed, so we can't refund you just because your inner schmuck had second thoughts. Choose wisely. Or don't. Just don't expect a do-over.

If you gave us the wrong address and your swag ends up in the void — that's on you. We'll happily print you another one, but you'll have to pay for it again. Consider it a tax on bad typing.

If we mess up, we'll fix it. If you mess up, you'll learn something. And if the universe just hates both of us that day, we'll figure it out like semi-functioning adults. Thanks for being a schmuck with taste.