You’ve seen the rise of smug grifters, LinkedIn philosophers, startup sycophants, and loud mediocrity in every meeting—and it fills you with rage, exhaustion, and secondhand embarrassment.

You know a schmuck when you see one…and somehow, that makes you the most self-aware person in the room…so why not celebrate it?

This is merch for the chronically annoyed

At For Schmucks®, we make merch for people who are:
• Tired of fake deep-take think pieces and performative humility
• Allergic to hustle culture and keynote charlatans
• Proficient in sarcasm, side–eye, and cognitive dissonance
• Not above being a schmuck themselves

You’re not here to play along. You’re here to roll your eyes, sip something bitter, and wear clothing that quietly screams: 
“Buckle up, meatbag.”